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No willpower

16 comments

Tell us about the harshest, most difficult to hear — but accurate — criticism you’e ever gotten. Does it still apply?

You have no willpower, a friend told me once. I got so angry I was unable to answer. I just left crying. I thought I showed a lot of determination and persistence in my life to prove her wrong. My job, having to deal with a lot of difficulties, my taking care of my family… all that required a lot of willpower.

A year after that conversation I was diagnosed with a severe depression. She was right. She didn’t know but I was already sick. I wouldn’t admit it. Nor when she told me, neither when the doctor diagnosed me. That couldn’t happen to me. I was strong. I always have been strong. A lot of time of denying the harsh reality worsened my situation. It was difficult to help me because I couldn’t admit I was sick. Even today, when there is no doubt  it’s  not easy. Oh! how difficult it is living with this invisible disease, looking as if nothing is wrong with you when everything inside is so dark and hard. I’m sorry. The prompt asked for harsh times.

Daily Prompt: Sad But True.

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Journalist. In my fifties. I've worked for 26 years in a newspaper in Spain. I worked for two years as a stringer and correspondent in the US, and went as a special envoy to other places like the Balkans. Sea lover. Avid reader. Classic Music enthusiast.

16 Comments Join the Conversation

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  3. Hi there, I understand the strength you need to carry on working when things are really tough with mental illness. You were strong I think. I think you did really well to keep going. All the best

    Reply

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  6. You’re so harsh on yourself! There’s no way anyone could have known… Let peace in… Healing is a journey.. And you need to take the first step!

    Reply

    • Thank you for your comment. I know I need to take a lot of steps and try to be positive. It’s difficult.

      Reply

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