Painful

Tell us about a time when you flew into a rage. What is it that made you so incredibly angry?

This is a painful theme for me. I think I’m a quiet person not prone to rage. Of course there are things that make me angry, but I usually stay silent until I can’t resist anymore. And then I explode . I try to explode when I’m by myself. Because I think one have to show self-control in front of others especially when things get ugly. And rage is everything except self-control. I had plenty of reasons to get mad, like everybody else. I had a very stressful job and I had to argue a lot with my bosses trying to stay calm to achieve what I believed it was the right thing to do.
Why is this theme painful for me? Because it reminds me the worst moments of my illness when I began to fear I was losing control over my mind. I could pass from a strong, blind rage, to a deep, paralysing apathy in a matter of seconds. Surely the rage and the apathy were the consequence of the same desperation. I had fallen in a deep depression. Since then my life have changed completely. Now I’m much better But I’ll always associate rage to my illness.

Mad as a Hatter.

 

Author: Olga Brajnović

Journalist. In my fifties. I've worked for 26 years in a newspaper in Spain. I worked for two years as a stringer and correspondent in the US, and went as a special envoy to other places like the Balkans. Sea lover. Avid reader. Classic Music enthusiast.

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